DBTG #2: Oh so nastyyyy

**Just a heads up for you guys: This post will contain some foul language. This post might be old news to some of you, yet it is something that can’t be preached enough.**

What’s up everyone?!?!?  I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything for you all, but I’m back with another article for all you beautiful people.

Last time around I discussed with you all “That Guy” and focused on his key characteristics in order to aid you all with identifying him.  I also mentioned that TG unfortunately comes in many evolutions.  As you can guess by me writing another article for you all, we’re going to be talking about another evolution of TG.

Of all forms of TG that can be encountered, this is probably the one that people hate dealing with the most. He’s one that people get annoyed of constantly having to hear about, or maybe one that people hate having to even be around, but one that can never be allowed to continue with his bad habits.  This evolution of TG is so bad that he even has his own name: NG, short for nasty guy.  

- What’s nasty about “that guy”?

First things first, NG is a fucking pain in the ass.  Many people forget it, but he’s one of the biggest threats to the well-being of any gym.  As much as I hate to admit it, EVERY gym has one and people don’t confront him until they’ve been a victim of his gross ass habits.

Hopefully you don’t need much assistance in identifying this guy, but I’m still going to help you all out just in case he somehow managed to slip right under your nose. (I mean seriously, this dude is stanky. Get your nose checked if you can’t smell him.)

As I have just mentioned, the easiest way to identify NG is going to be the smell coming from this dude.  Those naïve souls out there might be saying something along the lines of, “people always smell at jiu-jitsu…”. But NORMAL people will smell towards the END of class, if they even smell at all.  NG comes into class smelling like he just took a bath in hot dog water mixed with fresh cat urine.

Another sign that you have a NG at your gym will be the stains on his gear.  If you train at a gi school, his least favorite gi color is white.  The reason being is that all his “white” gis are everything but.  They come in yellow, brown, and sometimes even mucus green.  He loves to tell you that washing your belt is bad luck…… but nah homie, that’s shitty hygiene.  If you train at an exclusively no-gi school (like meeeeee) or see NG at your no-gi night, his rashguard (if he even wears one) looks pretty odd.  Like NG’s gi, his “white” rashguard is special tint of white known as eggshell.  If he has any that are of a darker color they have salt stains that make it appear as if he leaves it out throughout the day to let the sun dry it out for him and to burn the germs away.

Here comes the nastiest part about NG and the part that deserves the most attention.  NG not only has some bad habits in regards to his personal hygiene but he’s also out to get you.  NG is pretty notorious for stepping off of the mats and not putting on his shoes, especially when going to use the bathroom.  The rare times that he’s wearing shoes, he forgets to take them off, resulting with him stepping on the mats with his shoes on.  What’s even worse about NG is that he will train despite having a skin infection due to his poor hygiene.  He’s pretty bad at hiding his smell and disgusting gear, but when it comes to having ring worm or staph he’s the master of disguise.  He doesn’t care that someone else is going to suffer due to his nasty ass and gets pretty upset when he gets called out and kicked off the mats when someone manages to spot skin infection.

- What to do.

First off, the most important thing to do with preventing having a NG on your mats is to take care of your personal hygiene BEFORE, DURING and AFTER class.  ALWAYS be sure to take a shower after class.  ALWAYS be sure to wash your gear before training in it again.  ALWAYS trim your nails to prevent cuts which can turn into nastier things like the worm and staph.  ALWAYS take time off if you have a rash.

After you’re squared away you can then focus on fixing the issue with NG.  This is the one time you should directly talk to the person at issue.  Let that mother trucker know what they’re doing is pretty fucking disgusting and that they’re selfish for putting everyone at risk due to their nasty habits.  Also don’t forget to let your coach know.  It’s not cool to leave them out of this and will result in them taking the right measures to prevent NG from stepping foot on the mats if his nasty ass doesn’t change.  

If you’re not grossed out by NG, you got some splainin’ to do…….

*Author’s note: I’d like to thank every single one of you that took your time to read this.  I would also like to thank LRTLK for allowing me to contribute to their blog. Please be sure to check out their podcast because without it, my ass wouldn’t be able to contribute dope articles to you.  They can be found on many platforms, including: iTunes, Google Play and Podbean. 


And most important: GOYA…. GET OFF YOUR ASS and train!*


Muito amor!

Migginho out!!!